#fitness hashtag with 2 new personalities for now: DYEL and roidRage. More to come! #fitness spawns a pinned post when you first play a card that increases your bench:
This lets you scale your power over time in a way that the opponent can't remove.
#hashtag Drop Rate
Hashtag personalities will now get HUGE boost in probability as rewards when a personality with a hashtag is already in your deck.
Non Fungible Fruit
Took a break recently, so this is a fairly lazy update. Even the jokes are lazy! We go for the lowest hanging fruit of internet jokes, the infamous monke jpeg peddlers.
New personalities
ponzaSchemer exists because of a pun. I mean, that's really it. But to make the pun actually work, resource removal (i.e., all "remove 🤖" posts) gets a buff in this update to become actually usable. Meanwhile, a small pyramid scheme can reward building a mono 🤔 deck with INFINITE emoji!
jpegTaffer is based around cloning stuff, giving 🤣 the option to easily turn all remaining emoji into picture posts (meaningless as they are). Also, "drawing a copy" means the new card retains the characteristics of a targeted post in play (including those numbers that increase WHENEVER or EVERY SECOND), but resets the duration.
🤖 removal
Enemy 🤖 meter can go into negative numbers as a result of your cards' effects! This gives 🤔 a better defensive mechanic fitting for the color theme, making just delaying the enemy actions a more playable strat.
Robo Girl Supremacy
This week's update:
Cards
Two new personalities found their way into the game - a 😍 robosexual and a 😡 robohater
Robosexual, in tune with its flavor, replaces the need for a real egirl in your deck and thirsts for your opponent. Robohater has a funky card that can CANCEL multiple posts and continues the theme of rewards for low life.
Challenge mode
Grindset challenge goes up to lvl 4 now, with lvl 2 and 3 granting achievements. (4 might end up geting pushed to a higher level in next update. is hard.) The levels are unlocked by completing the previous level with ANY modifiers, easy mode allowed. But achievements are only granted on completion without easy mode.
Buffs
I buffed last week's HOT TAKES to be more usable since they ended up being a bit too clunky. Also, pinned posts with drawbacks had their drawbacks reduced so taking a route through a pin isn't as much of a gamble. Some of the drawbacks could pretty much end a run for no reason if you got to choose from two pins that had drawbacks and didn't synergize with your deck. Didn't really make sense.
Nice Opinion, Which Youtuber Did You Get It From?
Weekly content!
New personalities "Transform a post" mechanic was introduced for an enemy in the last small update, and it's a fun one with a lot of potential depth. Now, YOU get to transform posts!
🤔 influencee - this propagator of HOT TAKES will turn your posts into "1 downvote every second". You can transform posts that have drawbacks on timeout, make use of the leftover duration on your typical fire-and-forget posts and since the signature post turns your newest post every second, there is a lot of interesting sequencing.
😭 thoughtful - this very considerate person transforms posts into THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS (5 downvotes on timeout), and unlike influencee can also transform the enemy posts. One funny funny way to use this is to speed up your enemy posts through 🤖 gaining drawbacks, and then out of nowhere remind the enemy to NEVAR 4GET, thus transforming drawbacks into damages.
Easy mode
INSERT COIN - an easy mode that lets you have a limited number of continues instead of playing pure permadeath.
Rule changes???
Might not affect your gameplay much if you weren't looking too hard into how the game works, but the order of actions triggering every second has changed to let effects go off before the enemy gets to do anything. The current order is:
Enemy gains 🤖
EVERY SECOND effects happen
Enemy posts if able
Posts time out
The old order had every second effects AFTER the enemy post!
This change is done to prevent weird situations with EVERY SECOND 🤖 gains/losses. When they triggered after the enemy post, it was just bizarre. (Eg. 🤖 went to 25/20 regularly, or your post seemed like it doesn't remove 🤖, because the enemy gained 🤖, played the card, went to 0 and there was nothing left to remove.)
Some Updates
This minor update contains some bugfixes, and new stuff targeted at both ends of the player skill spectrum:
For newbs
A hint system was introduced to help you figure out enemies. Many enemies in this game, especially early on, have puzzle-like solutions that completely disarm them. Ofc the power of your deck still matters, and RNG can still mess you up, but if figuring out the correct counterplay by yourself wasn't what you play cardgames for, use the hints.
For pros
3 new achievements for completionists, including the beginning of a new, ascension-style scaling challenge. Only one level for now, but it's very much the start of a srs bsns difficulty grind, as opposed to more funky modes.
Also there is now an enemy powered by food analogies. I don't know how that wasn't in the base game.
Towards More Inclusive Expressions Of Hate
New content!
Cards
3 new personalities found their way into the game
slacktivist: supports the current thing and NEEDS you to know it. 😭 isn't super weak, but it's just not particularly exciting because the whole "needs a reply" theme means jumping through hoops to get normal things. There is no big payoff for doing something UNIQUE. So this personality introduces a new theme that's all about uniqueness. Rewards you for having as many colors in your deck as possible, with a potential payoff of drawing 5 cards at an affordable price.
losingIt: 😡 had only one real payoff for being low on 🧠, and hitting yourself is supposed to be a theme here. So this new personality adds more payoffs for being low on 🧠.
catfish: this 😍 girl (?) will be whatever you want her to be, and as such, has ALL hashtags at once. This personality can be sticked into many different decks as an universal enabler for egirls, pics, or anything hashtag related, and may be of use in the future if I decide to introduce more hashtags.
EZ mode - DIVERSITY
The game released with 4 challenge modes, but for many players, it's already hard even without them. Making the base game easier sounds boring to me, so I'm not doing it. Instead, I'd rather add optional rule-changing mods that lower the level of challenge, but also, alter the gameplay enough to make it interesting even if you didn't need an easy mode.
DIVERSITY is my first attempt at creating a mode like that. It completely removes the problem of color consistency by making all cards (with non zero cost) give one type of emoji. This emoji can be used to pay for any colored card. The game becomes much easier, but the change also enables decks that would never be good in normal mode - hopefully making it a fun challenge to try and break the game with some completely bonkers 5-color deck.
Text consistency
Ongoing effort to make text more consistent continues: all 🧠 restoration should now be "heal", all actions that go to your opponent portrait should be "give" (giving downvotes good, giving robots bad). Money and emoji should be "gained".
New content 4U
It's the first post-release batch of new cards! And a little QoL in the package.
Cards
3 new personalities made it into the game:
baneposter - the exodia of memeing, if you assemble the whole Bane vs CIA conversation, you win the game on the spot
b*tchLasagna - missing piece of 😍 pic synergy. No setups, but payoffs for both pics and #egirl
haxxor - two directions for 🤔. The shield mechanic got introduced in a previous small update, but it's very narrow and does nothing against many enemies. To make that feel less crappy, haxxor adds a damage payoff for having shielded posts. On the other hand, there is a small piece of EVERY SECOND synergy and a defensive post that removes 🤖 over time. 🤔 is supposed to suck at actually removing posts, but since it does things over time, it needs something defensive. Removing 🤖 fits the intended identity, and creates a potential full lockdown strat.
General improvements
press F to pay respects skip ahead 1 second in time. If you had trouble with all the pausing and unpausing, you can effectively play h8machine like a turn-based game now. On the other hand, if your problem was "board states where the only thing left to do is wait" you can now skip the waiting period by spamming that F key.
death screen - displays the card you died to after a loss. If you had a "what just killed me" moment while playing this game, this feature could help you!
Early balance tweaks
Early tweaks are mostly buffs to 😭 and 🤔 to improve their basic playstyle.
😭 - buffed healing, some timeout effects replaced with damage over time. 🤔 - cards changed to benefit more from duration extending.
Some not very flavorful cards in🤔 and 😭 are replaced with a new shielding mechanic. ShildVPN protects your data from prying eyes with military-grade encryption prevents any shillded posts from getting deleted.
Early QoL improvements
First patch, some requested QoL improvements
double click cards to play them without target
right click cards to bin them for emoji
network "map" can now be scrolled to plan ahead
all 5 starter personalites are now accessible when starting the roguelike mode. this is a buff to early player power, let's see how that affects difficulty (smh one day in and we powercreeping already)
fixed a minor spelling mistake
Enjoy!
h8machine is out!
This is it, the game is out for everyone to play!
Release discount lasts for a week.
Shitpost away with the currently available content, and I'll see what more I can whip up soon!
