Welcome to Boon Hill
A new game I made just came out. It's called Dead Horizon. It's pretty cooool.
So, I'm going to try something. Something that I've always been told is the absolute worst thing you can do. I'm going to be 100% honest. I'm going to be completely open about how afraid I am. How afraid I am of YOU specifically, and what you might think of my game. Well, let's begin.
How do I get you to care? Steven Martin would say “Be so good they can't ignore you”, Which is such an easy thing to tell people when you're already successful.
Not that I'm not successful. You see, I write video games for a living. Millions of people have played games I've worked on. I've written words for franchises like The Walking Dead and Galaxy On Fire. I mostly work freelance, which means I get to set my own hours and show up to board rooms as the “out of town guest”, talk story for 20 minutes, then walk out before the boring part of the meeting hits.
But I don't get to tell my own stories. I get to help other people craft and perfect theirs. I get to work on machines already in motion. I tune the engine or rebuild the carburetor mid-race or whatever other metaphors I can use that prove I'm not a car guy.
I don't get to do that most terrifying and wonderful thing. I don't get to connect with people. Not through my art. At least not the art I get paid to make in my day job.
So, I burn the candle at both ends.
I get up and I start dealing with my clients. I take the notes, I write the drafts, I beat out the stories. Heroes save the day, cats fall out of trees and dogs learn the meaning of friendship. Around sixteen hours after I wake up I finish the last of what I should be doing that day.
Then I yawn. Drink an energy drink, and start working on one of my own projects. I have about four hours before sleep will demand I stop. I write, plot, craft, build, beg, and talk to the team of people I've put together to work on my own stories and my own games.
Games like Dead Horizon. It's not one of the Triple A games I write for. It was made on a shoestring budget, paid for out of pocket by me. This is because as someone who has worked on the other end, I'll never ask someone to work for free if I can avoid it.
Dead Horizon is a “retro” indie game. That means pixel art and chiptune music. But it's not just for style, it's there because it's very evocative of a time and place in which the emotions I'm dealing with in the writing for this game are from. A lot of the game is about my relationship with my grandfather, my feelings about gender and masculinity, and my emotional attachment to the western genre.
And that... ooooh boy. That is the scary part. This game isn't like the Triple A games I write for. It's me. It's me splattered across thousands of pixels for anyone to see. Its my emotional guts and my journal pages spilled out in text boxes and cutscenes. It isn't a carefully calculated product that's been focus tested and rejiggered a thousand times. It's not trying to trick you out of your money to keep hundreds of people employed.
Hell, it isn't even worth money. The game is free.
It's just me, telling a story I think matters. Trying to say something and wondering If I actually have anything to say. Attempting to connect with you and not knowing if what I've created will manage to make you feel anything or just leave you cold, bored, and displeased.
I made this game for you and I don't even know who you are. I made a thing hoping to find some way to speak to you and express something and I don't know enough about you to have any idea what you'll do with me being so open. I hope so, so much that you'll be moved. That you'll experience what I intended. Or even magically, you'll see something there I didn't know was there and find joy or sorrow or insight beyond what I could have imagined or predicted.
Maybe you'll find rage. Pain. Hatred. Maybe you'll curse my name and rant and rave. Maybe you'll try and hurt me. To make me feel the kind of frustration I've caused in you.
Worst of all, maybe you won't even care. I'll never connect with you because I failed to even matter enough to be a gleam in your eye.
That's why you scare me. Because I care what you think of my game more than anything. Because I make art for you. Because I'm screaming into the void with all I have to see if all the other people in the void hear my cry.
I like making my own things. I like being scared. It is, well, scary though. I'll tell you now, honestly, if you want to hurt me? You can. Very easily. I read every review. Every comment. Every random post on some random forum. Every article and every random discussion. It hurts every time someone doesn't like what I've made. Every time, even when It's a project I barely worked on, even if the comments are right.
Though, when people are mean, at least they care. It's so hard to get people to care. To make that connection. Steve Martin's quote isn't the whole of it. Money really helps. I've seen it from the inside. People can only care about what they hear about. You can't just be good. You also have to be loud. Which is why I'm writing this. Why I'm being completely honest.
I am scared of you and I need your help.
I need you to play my game. If you play my game, and I manage to connect with you, and you tell other people about it? Share this post, link my game, write about it. And that happens enough? Then I might get to spend more of my day working on my own things and less on other people's. I might get to focus on telling my own stories. It's terrifying. If you think I have something to say, then I have to say more things. If you think I don't. I don't. It's much less safe, but it's something I want and something I can't do alone. Something I can't do without you.
If you've ever made art of some kind, you probably understand, you're probably scared too. I probably frighten you. So, I offer a trade. If you show me something you've made, written, filmed, whatever, I'll look at it. I'll give feedback. I'll spread the word on it. All you have to do in return is play my game. You don't even have to like it.
I guess I should talk about my game at some point, huh?
Dead Horizon is a very short retro-styled shooting game for the PC, on Windows, Mac, and Linux. It's only about 10 minutes long, and it only requires a mouse to play. It's free. The soundtrack costs about five dollars if you want that, but there's also a sound test in the game itself. You play as a gunslinger who's going through a series of quick draw duels.
Yet, it's about so much more than just quick draw duels. It's about violence. Death. Redemption. Getting a chance to matter. It's about those dreams we have as kids and about people who we hurt because we tell ourselves that we don't have a choice. It's about westerns and machismo and gender and love and fear and addiction and age. It's about... more than I have the words to say. But... that's just what I think it's about. You decide what it's about. You're the one who has to play it.
This is the hardest part right here. Saying it's done. This post. The game. Putting it out into the world and knowing that you... you will be reading this and will judge me. Well, thank you. Thank you for taking the time. I owe you everything. Please, play my game and tell me what you think and feel. Please, be honest.
Dead Horizon is available on Steam here: http://store.steampowered.com/app/671700/Dead_Horizon/ and Itch.io here: https://pixelwestern.itch.io/dead-horizon
I left a comment on all reviews, images, and posts!
Most of them don't say much of anything.
Thanks for everyone who paid money for this game. You're all very strange.
-Always
The Boon Hill Team
DLC now downloadable. Really? that seems like the DLCs been out awhile for that to be the case... hmmm...
Apparently for a long time you couldn't download the music DLC if you bought it. Yeesh. The fact that no one who did this then gave me a bad review is a testament to just how awesome humans are. It was like that for six months, and I know, as I have the analytical right here, that roughly 1,000 people got shafted on the music.
I'm so sorry. You should be able to get it now. The soundtrack is amazing and I'm terrible for not getting this fixed sooner. There's no excuse. Other than all the excuses.
-Always and forever with regrets for everything
The Boon Hill Team
No more ghost trees! Now at half price!
The ghost tree issue has been fixed. Hopefully no one runs into any more but feel free to message us if you do.
As they have been exorcised all is well!
Also, Boon Hill is half off for the week. So, if five dollars was too much for you... uh...
Honestly, if five dollars was too expensive for you I'm not sure 2.50 will sound better. If it does, enjoy Boon Hill!
-Always
The Boon Hill Team
Tree Ghosts no Longer Haunt the Graveyard!
-Small patch but still. Apparently there was an issue with... tree ghosts. Strange instances where things would pop up on the map in the middle of nowhere you couldn't walk through.
It has hopefully been fixed! May the ghosts of trees never haunt your graveyard exploration again!
-Issue where a very small number of players say they get stuck in the first tree... still happens. Seriously, I don't know what causes it and why only on a TINY number of games. Less than 1% of users it seems.
Enjoy not bumping into invisible trees this summer?
-Always
The Boon Hill Team
Death is funny. Death is really really funny.
That statement has gotten me in a lot of trouble before. Claiming death is funny. People always give me odd looks or shake their heads. Yet the same people often laugh when a death fueled joke hits them just right.
Indiana Jones shoots a man dead - often hailed as one of the best gags of all time.
No, we're not morbid monstrous demons. It's about surprise and expectation. The laughter comes from the set up of the situation and how what happens isn't what we think will happen. Something that surprises a person evokes an emotional reaction. Fear is common if we feel threatened; laughter is common if we feel relived.
Nothing is more surprising than death. Even the slow hand of disease. It feels wrong.
I've lost a lot of loved ones in my life. I've stood by my share of hospital beds and I've gotten my share of phone calls at odd times. I go through a pretty predictable pattern.
First I am cold and numb inside. I do not really want to deal with how sad everyone is and how upset they are at me for not being sad. I don't want to go to a funeral and talk to everyone about how sad they are. I don't want to stand up in front of a bunch of people and tell them how sad I am. I am often required to do these things anyways. It makes me very unlikely to care much about any will or other such things if I am involved in one. I don't want clocks or coin collections, I want the person back. Still, thanks to how overly emotional everyone is I tend to question if I'm a sociopath at this point.
Generally a good deal after all of that hoopla is done I will be sad. That is my second stage. I don't sit around crying. Which once again can offend people as I tend to cry at everything. Music. Movies. Really good comic panels. A dog with a hurt leg. The future death of people. It is a different kind of pain, though. I am sad someone is gone. Not being emotionally moved by art or the fictional story I'm creating in my brain about when they might be gone. It just hurts that I can never see them again. I think about them a lot in this period. Especially animals I've known. For some reason I dwell a lot on how I could never truly communicate to them how I cared.
After that, stage three of my own personal pain cycle is getting over it. I'm less sad after awhile. After that I'm even less sad. I think about the dead less and less. Even if I told myself I wouldn't forget them. I start to. They fade. They're no longer part of my life. I consider doing things like visiting graves or setting up a ritual to keep thinking about them. I always decide at the end that would just be an unnecessary step.
Generally later, much later, after I haven't thought about them for weeks, a year, longer, comes the dreams. My fourth stage or step or whatever you want to call it. Vivid complicated dreams about those I've lost. Long detailed conversations with them over coffee. Or in their workshop. Oddly eloquent and creepy predictions about my future from passed friends and family. The kind of dreams that make people believe in ghosts.
I don't, though. I don't believe in ghosts. I don't because I wake up from these dreams and I'm alone in my room and I can't believe my subconscious would be that mean. That's generally the time I cry.
The dreams become less frequent and they fade as well. Or, at least I don't wake up crying as often.
Because death is just really funny. I can't help thinking that. I've gotten a lot of flack about it. Probably more hate mail about how Boon Hill is flippant about death than copies of the game I've actually sold. The whole 'press [key] to mourn' movement an their anger at games trying to 'gameatize' sadness seem pretty upset at me. A lot of comments about how I have no respect for the dead or that I've never visited a graveyard.
These comments are also funny. As they are half right.
I have visited many graveyards and I have no respect for the dead.
I can't respect the dead. They're dead. I can respect the bodies and memories they leave behind but not them.
This is not me dismissing the idea of an after life. I am far from someone who thinks they understand the world. After we die there are many many things that could happen. One thing is pretty clear though...
This world is for the living. The dead don't spend a lot of time interacting with us. I respect the mourner, and I respect the joke.
That is why I made Boon Hill. I made boon hill for me. A digital graveyard full of people that never existed. Also, some that did. Kickstarter backers asking for loved ones and other things put in to help them get through their own process. Some graves devoted to concepts and some to philosophy and a hell of a lot to pets. Very few pets in the Boon Hill pet cemetery are made up. Very. Very. Few. Boon Hill isn't about the dead. It's about living people. Graveyards, even digital ones, are for the living.
To me Boon Hill is a really silly game. A goal lacking graveyard wandering artistic weirdness. I think it's quite funny. I also think a lot of people mistake levity with flippancy. Someone who treats their life and the lives of others as expendable is flippant about death. Death is horrible. Death should not be courted if it can be avoided. Death is very serious.
Death is just also hilarious. It's so impossible. Dying. I can't really imagine it. I can imagine myself dead. I just can't imagine being dead. Anymore than a light-bulb can shine while off. It is beyond the ability I have to truly comprehend.
So, I find it funny. Horrible, scary, devastating... but mostly funny.
...and there's nothing wrong with that. People have very strong feelings about death. It isn't surprising. Just make sure that you let yourself deal with death how you need to deal with it.
Don't try and lump yourselves into the Seven Stages of Grief or whatever it's called. Don't let anyone make you feel bad for not being sad enough or being happy. Don't beat yourself up if you feel good that someone you hated died. Don't feel bad about relief when a sick family member you were caring for finally passes. Just let yourself deal how you need to deal.
If it gets in the way of your life or your job get some help from family friends or whatever. Don't hurt anyone else emotionally or psychically if you can avoid it. Other than that mourn how you want.
Laugh when someone dies if it helps. Make inappropriate jokes if it eases your own pain. Do try and be considerate of the feelings of others and not make their pain worse but don't let them put their burdens and expectations on you.
Live while you're alive and know that once you're gone those you have left behind don't owe you anything.
You are going to die some day, so am I. And frankly, that's pretty funny.
TL;DR: A very long rambling post written after getting some very bad news. The funny but not fun kind. Basically, mourn the way you want to mourn and don't let people make you feel bad for not conforming to whatever mourning rituals they feel are appropriate. And don't beat yourself up when you've already got death to deal with. That's hard enough as it is.
Boon Hill Patch 1.1.2 Live! FOR JUSTICE!
Specific fixes include...
- It is harder to get stuck in the wall of the office. Still possible if you really wish to attempt it.
- The cabinet in the front office now has the history of Boon Hill.
- The person working in the front office has had their dialogue fixed.
- Some other boundaries have been fixed.
- Crow sprites have been made more clear and a rare graphical glitch has been improved.
- Gravestones never sleep.
- A few spelling and grammar errors on graves have been fixed.
- Fixed a small crash bug that I think only annoyed me.
- Fixed an issue with the menu screen when controlling the sound volume.
That is all. If there are any issues or other bugs people notice feel free to leave a comment.
Also, I hope all of you lead interesting lives.
Boon Hill OST For Sale!
The Welcome to Boon Hill OST is now for sale if you so desire it. If you've played the game and ever thought 'hey, I should listen to this kind of sad but very pretty music during my every day not playing Boon Hill life' well, we have you covered.
It's a beautiful soundtrack and designed with the kind of care and love that one would design a baby. A... sound baby? It was composed by the talented Hayden Dingman. A perfect soundtrack for...
- Feeling sad while making a sandwich
- Waiting for the bus while thinking about turtles
- Playing a very violent video game and wanting ironic background music
- Throwing a ball for a dog
- Playing with action figures
- Jogging
- Feeling happy while making a sandwich
- The ending credits of the TV show about your life (No good for opening credits)
- Playing Welcome to Boon Hill
- Your intro music into the arena
- Your phone ringtone
- Dance parties! (...when you want them to really slow down)
- Whatever you want
A lot of hard work went into the soundtrack and many people consider it the best part of welcome to Boon Hill. I tend to agree with them. So, if you've desired to own it on its own, enjoy.
Boon Hill Patch 1.1.0
This is a large patch for playability. Shoring up several bugs and making many tiny changes to improve the overall experience. the overall game is much the same. The main difference is that it should be much easier to read in game text.
-Grave Digger's grave is no longer able to be walked through.
-'Invisible' graves moved to the proper place.
-Easier to read font for NPCs and on gravestones.
-Increased the distance you can 'read' a grave from.
-Fixed a game breaking bug with the Goth Girl's dialogue.
-Game breaking bug fixed where the player would get stuck in a tree at game start up.
-The spirits of the dead are restless.
-Controller support - should work with everything. Though some controllers will default to being read as an Xbox controller.
-Hit detection on walls improved. Should be harder to 'break' out of intended areas.
-Several other small bug and control fixes.
Please leave a comment if there are any issues with the new build.
Boon Hill has trading cards!
Welcome to Boon Hill has trading cards. We made them for the game and I didn't realize this wasn't a thing that all games on STEAM did. I plan to edit the game description to mention it. I think they're cute.
Sadly, the game will never have achievements. It goes against the core principal of the game and if you won't buy the game because it doesn't have achievements, honestly you probably would not have enjoyed it anyways.
That is all!
-The Boon Hill Team