It's been a long time since I've given any news about Wild Dose, and it's time to take stock of why I've been silent in 2024. Sorry in advance for this probably “too long to read” post, but there's a lot to say.
A little background
In 2022, Lappi Soft was lucky enough to join the Polish acceleration program Digital Dragons, and thus obtain budget for the development of Wild Dose. Not being a 3D artist, I took advantage of this opportunity to work with two artists, Darya (part-time freelance) and Zuzanna (full-time junior), who joined me at the end of 2022, in order to have our own 3D models, our own identity.
I like to think we succeeded in giving Wild Dose a more assertive artistic direction, and I personally loved that period when we were building this world. Unfortunately, I soon realized that my impromptu role as art director was preventing me from making progress on production, given that I was the only developer/game-designer/level-designer.
At the beginning of 2023, I therefore decided to close the Polish branch of Lappi Soft by the end of the year, which meant parting company with Zuzanna (who finally left us in May 2023 for a new position).
In June 2023, the Polish branch of Lappi Soft is mothballed before liquidation (the French “parent company” remains active). I decide it's time to go solo again for a full year to finalize all gameplay and narrative aspects of the game, before finalizing the artistic side (with Darya) using the remaining budget.
In July 2023, Wild Dose was announced as one of the 4 finalists in the Game Cup, France's independent video game cup, with the chance for first and second place to win 20,000 and 7,000 euros respectively.
What happened?
Unfortunately, a few days after the Game Cup nomination, my wife Aude (also co-founder of the studio and who was assisting me as narrative designer on Wild Dose) was diagnosed with a perforative corneal ulcer in her only functional eye. Knowing that she was already totally deaf (and had other disabilities, including balance, breathing and swallowing problems), the stakes were high.
The summer of 2023 was chaotic, with a total of 5 amniotic membrane transplants on her eye in the space of 3 months. In addition to the care and busy monitoring schedule, these surgeries left her temporarily blind. Her deafness and temporary blindness made communication extremely complicated and time-consuming (I wrote on her hand, letter by letter). What's more, Aude needed constant assistance with all activities of daily living.
Communicating with her to break her sensory isolation and combat the psychological exhaustion linked to the fear of losing her only valid eye was a full-time job. Added to this was the “business as usual” that I usually take care of (with weekly supervision from professionals): daily physiotherapy and speech therapy exercises to ensure that her breathing, swallowing and balance problems don't get any worse.
I'd like to tell you that we'd always juggled her fragile health and were well versed, but we were now facing the biggest crisis of her medical journey. Production of Wild Dose has been on hold since the first operation in July 2023.
For the Game Cup, I still tried to produce a new teaser that would honor the work we'd done with Darya and Zuzanna. I was even able to free myself for an express trip to the final in Angoulême, where I missed out on second place by a few dozen votes (no regrets, I was really happy to be there and meet the indie buddies).
The post-Game Cup period was horrible. A 5th eye surgery, a month in which Aude had severe pain (which ruined our nights, my shape and my mood...) that we blamed on stress, whereas it was tumors that had grown following the cessation of her chemotherapy since her first eye perforation. She underwent another week's hospitalization to manage the pain and resume chemotherapy, before undergoing her 6th eye surgery. Which brings us to...
2024
We are fortunate to live in France, and at the beginning of 2024, my role as a “full-time” family carer was recognized, helping to balance our personal budget. After two surgeries and a new treatment for Aude's eye, we were able to enjoy a lull for a few weeks (although my April was ruined by very intense migraines as a result of all the stress). I announced to the Kickstarter backers that production would remain on hiatus until at least the end of 2024.
Aude had recovered some of her vision and autonomy, and we were perhaps looking forward to a brighter future. Unfortunately, in early June, she suffered a severe eye infection, requiring very aggressive treatment followed by further surgery. She had not yet recovered her vision when the infection recurred at the beginning of August.
For 3 and a half months, she was left in total whiteness, without a single week's respite. The infection eventually cleared up, but its after-effects further reduced what little vision she had left, making our life even more complicated.
But we adapted and Aude tried to make the most of what little she had recovered. We had 3 months of respite, until we returned from the Christmas holidays on December 30, 2024, when her infection flared up again, requiring another week in hospital.
What's next?
As I write these lines, we hope that this recurrence has been detected early enough to avoid any long-term sequelae. We can adapt to anything, and for my part I've finally learned to juggle these crises with calmer periods.
When I look at what the video game industry has been going through since 2023, I realize that this is the “least worst time” to stay away from production. I'm thinking of the Deus Ex sequel, which was simply cancelled after 2 years of production with a team of 100 people.
Even if the “curse of the immersive-sim” seems to have hit us, I'm confident about our future. System Shock, despite its 1.3 million Kickstarter, was put on pause for several months before production resumed, before making a fairly respectable release in 2023 (according to the reviews, I confess I haven't had time to play it). You have to be resilient in this business, and believe me, these 18 months have taught us a different definition of resilience.
In 2025, I plan to continue working on The Inspector (which I'm co-developing with Edoardo) in my spare time, as I've been doing up to now. It seems to me a fairly healthy way of keeping in touch with video game development.
Wild Dose production will remain on hold indefinitely, but there's not a day goes by when I don't think about this universe I'm so eager to help you discover. I realize I'll probably never be a full-time game developer again, but however long it takes, Wild Dose will be released.
I'd like to take this opportunity to thank the Kickstarter backers and early fans once again for their support, patience and understanding. I would also like to express my gratitude to the teams at the Annecy and Grenoble Hospitals, and to say how lucky we are to be cared by such dedicated people.
Thank you all so much!
Maxime
