SUCKERS MAGAZINE - TOP 5 "REAL LIFE" SERIAL CLEANING HACKS
One thing on everyone's mind, is cleaning. Whether you're cleaning potatoes or a log cabin - we all have something in common, we all want an easier life! So here are 5 cleaning hacks to make your life easier.
1- Vacuum cleaners are great for everyday dirt and spiders. Steam cleaners are perfect for a quick cheeky refresh. But, if you want to remove something stronger, we might need to make a few calls.
2- Damp microfibre cloths are great to clean away dust and dirt from your electronic devices. Also perfect for removing those pesky finger prints...
3- If you are the messy type, sawdust will soak up spills fast! But will also leave you with a secondary mess... involving damp sawdust.
4- Is your trash can filthy? Does it smell like something has died in there? Well you can fix that by using a liquid toilet cleaner! First remove the excess limbs, pour in the cleaner and then give it a good rinse!
5- One of our most popular cleaning hacks! To remove red stains from your carpet, paint the rest of your carpet red!
(Disclaimer - we do not actually recommend trying any of these hacks, but then you already knew that - unless you actually want a red carpet, then that's surely a benefit.)
Crimes Against Fashion - Part 2
Hair today gone tomorrow - but not in the case of the 90s style and fashion aesthetics. It is here to stay! Hair to stay?
Vip3r's fashion sense is what 90s rave culture is all about. Visor sunglasses of varying colors and the iconic bucket hat - these are seen all over the high street stores today.
Complemented by candy jewellery, rave glow sticks and and platform trainers. The 90s rave scene is represented in many pieces of Vip3r concept art. Neon's, fishnets, motor cross bomber jackets - you name it, Vip3r would probably wear it.
90s fashion should be part of everyone's wardrobe... I mean seriously now - who doesn't want a Union Flag print dress, so short you can see what you ate for lunch? So, don't wait for fashion designers to tell you when to wear those parachute pants - just slip them on, let the air circulate and live the 90s now!
Vip3r Networks
Vip3r's relationship with Bob, is one of a reluctant mentor and an over confident apprentice. She became interested in him while digging on the web. Over the years she grew to respect his keen eye and professional approach to the job.
She still makes fun of him for sticking to "the old ways", but it comes from the place of appreciation.
Psycho Analysis
He became the mob’s most effective whacker, widely recognized as "that northern Psycho" - a nickname that would stick to him for his entire life.
Running Lati to the Party
Lati's mother left when she was 8.
Jake, Lati's brother was hit by a car. The ambulance arrived too late, leaving the medical staff no chance of saving him. This incident broke Lati’s family apart. She couldn’t handle losing her son and she couldn’t deal with the father who went into complete meltdown, drowning his sorrows in liquor. One day she just packed her bags and vanished.
When Lati was in high school, she was noticed by her gym trainer as a “gifted runner”. She knew that even if she screwed up her education she could fall back to a sports scholarship. But that was a backup plan, cause Lati aimed for more - she dreamed of making it as an artist.
Nearing the end of High School, and old friend called Hangman, who she had met at school approached Lati, nagging her for help in a store robbery - apparently it was going to be his rite of passage to become a "real gangster". He said that "she owes him" for all the times he's helped her out - so she couldn't refuse. They chose an inconspicuous shop run by an odd pair of clerks.
It ended in a bloody mess and dead clerks. As well as most of the crew. Hangman escaped, leaving Lati among the dead bodies. In that moment of despair, an unlikely saviour emerged - Bob, a mysterious, moustached man on the wrong side of forty helped her to clean up that bloody mess and slip through the police patrol. Fully realizing she really had no home to go back to, she agreed to stick with Bob, at least for a while. That turned into nearly a decade. Soon after, she met the other Cleaners.
GET A CHEEKY 20% DISCOUNT NOW!
20% OFF cleaning products, ermm, we mean Serial Cleaners for one whole week!
Clean up after even the messiest individuals FOR LESS!
Here are a few more cleaning hacks to help blow the cobwebs and evidence away in Serial Cleaners.
1: Knock Knock - If you are precise enough, you can open a door in an enemy's face. This will knock them straight over giving you enough time to make a clean getaway.
2: Don’t Be a Drag - Dragging a body will cause extra mess. This mess is extra mess you will have to clean up as it gets added to your vacuuming bar! But if you wrap up a body in a bag, it will leave no blood trail while being dragged. It will also draw no attention to civilians when carried around public places.
3: Timing is Key - If you can time it right, you can lock a police officer inside a room, making your job that much easier... but you will need to have the correct key first.
4: Move without Sound – Pro-crime scene cleaners are never seen or heard. While inside a crime scene, crouching allows you to move without making a sound. You can also hide behind low obstacles, so an enemy cannot see you.
5: Hide and Seek - If you are playing as Psycho, you can knocked-down enemies, pick them up, and then hide their unconscious bodies in various designated spots. This means that your cleaning job has just become a little more straightforward – so knock yourself out! …well, the enemies.
NEW UPDATE! New Outfits, Level Select, Difficulty Settings...
A cleaner's job is never done. Especially the type of cleaning Bob and his crew does. There will always be a limb somewhere, that someone needs removing. Well now you can remove those limbs in different outfits, in locations you have previously visited and in a difficulty setting you choose!
You can now browse through a selection of unique outfits - available for each of your cleaners. When you fulfil various requirements you will unlock more outfits!
Not only will you be able to update your cleaners wardrobe, you will also be able to make it more difficult for them to do their job! No, not by joining the police force, time travel back to the 90s and chase them around a building - though if you do that we will be impressed. No, by selecting one of the new difficulty settings!
If you find one of the levels particularly challenging or just really fun, you now have the option to play it over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again. With the new level select option you can play your favourite level or your most hated level as much as you like!
If you prefer it hot or if you prefer it cold, or if you just want to feel like a mad scientist with the power to control weather - we have given you that power, ermm, we mean feature too!
And GOOD NEWS cleaners! We have also added Polish language to the game!
Here are some useful tricks and tips to help you clean up on Serial Cleaners.
1: Need to Vent – Viper is the only character that can fit into small vents. She can't drag a body through a vent, but a big piece of evidence will fit through nicely.
2: Your Attention Please – utilise your surroundings! An open door will draw a police officer’s attention. Use that as a decoy, to draw them away from your location.
3: Three is the Tragic Number - The police will not use lethal force straight away. But if they spot you three times or you attack them directly, that’s when they will draw their weapons.
4: Escape Plan – It’s possible to outrun your enemies. Remember to use Lati’s speed and agility when you need it to outrun guards or police to make your escape. And when you do need to make a quick getaway, make sure it’s to “higher ground”.
5: Table Manners - If you are spotted by the police, run to the nearest hiding spot. There are many hiding places - a bed or a table. If you are being chased by the police, go to the nearest hiding place - the police officers will attempt to pull you out, but with a quickly timed jump out of hiding into the direction of the officer will knock them over so you can escape. Remember, “Cleaner Sense” will tell you where the police are, but it will also tell you where your hiding spots are, so make sure you use it!
